The following is not true.
This was only a couple of weeks ago. It was actually on the same day that I started this blog, but I don't know if that's significant.
I used to sleepwalk when I was a kid. I would wake up standing in the living room, or, more frightening, walking down the road. I don't know what eventually stopped it, but I was about fifteen when I noticed that it hadn't happened it about a year. I'm twenty-eight now, but this is what I thought must have been going on when I woke up. I knew that I was uncomfortable, and I woke up slowly, and when I finally opened my eyes I didn't know where I was for a second. I was off-balance, lying on a slant, and I was outside. That was the first thing I noticed. It was the middle of the night, but it was somewhat bright, and a few moments later I realized that I was on the roof.
I carefully inched around the edge of the roof, more afraid of being caught on my neighbor's roof in my boxers than falling off. I saw a plum tree than overhanged the roof a bit, and thought that was probably how I got up. I approached, and saw a woodpecker there, and when I got closer it didn't get frightened. I spoke the way people absently speak to animals. I said, "Hey, you going to stay there?"
And the woodpecker actually answered, to my astonishment. "I'm resting."
So, a talking woodpecker. It's insane, and I'm just going to report it the way I remember it. What else can I do?
I talked with the woodpecker a little bit. I wasn't as shocked as I would have thought I'd be. I asked her the kinds of questions you might ask an animal that you can suddenly communicate with. I asked what her favorite thing to do, and she said, "Taking care of my babies." I found out that she was, in fact, one of the woodpeckers that had hatched in our backyard last year. I asked what she thought of our house and she said it was beautiful. Her general feeling was that things humans made looked beautiful and smelled terrible.
So, as we were talking, I reached for a tree branch, ready to climb down, and it felt like an electric shock. The moment I touched it, I woke up in bed, disoriented. And what's weird is that the last image I had, waking up, was of myself being channeled, like electricity, through the tree branch, trunk, root, and that one roots of the tree actually reached three houses down, and touched the foundation of my house. I knew, deep inside, that that was exactly how I had ended up on the roof of the other house. I also had a feeling, and this is crazier than talking to a woodpecker, that the tree had actually grown that way intentionally for this purpose. I can't explain exactly what happened, maybe I never will be able to, but I know that my view of the way the world works is forever changed.
Thanks for humoring me by reading this far, even if you don't actually believe me. I'm just glad I could get my story out, so that other people that have experienced this might feel comfortable doing the same thing.
Please read: http://bit.ly/bmmXlX